You are currently browsing the monthly archive for May 2009.
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Erma Bombeck wrote this column and I remember it being on the fridge at home for years. The thing I remember about my Mom was her ability to laugh and find humor in almost everything. I hope you enjoy it, too.
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!”
My mother taught me RELIGION
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
My mother taught me REASON
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
My Mother taught me LOGIC
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
My mother taught me FORESIGHT
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident”
My mother taught me IRONY
“Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
“Will you “look” at the dirt on the back of your neck!”
My mother taught me about STAMINA
“You’ll sit there ’till all that spinach is finished.”
My mother taught me about WEATHER
“It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen THEN?”
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times–Don’t exaggerate!!!”
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
“Stop acting like your father!”
My mother taught me about ENVY!
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”
My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
“Just wait until we get home.”
My Mother taught me about RECEIVING
“You are going to get it when we get home!”
My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD
“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”
My Mother taught me ESP
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you’re cold?”
My Mother taught me HUMOR
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
My Mother taught me about SEX
“How do you THINK you got here?”
My Mother taught me about GENETICS
“You’re just like your father.”
My Mother taught me about my ROOTS
“Do you think you were born in a barn?”
My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE
“When you get to be my age, you will understand.”
My Mother taught me about JUSTICE
“One day you’ll have kids … and I hope they turn out just like you!
I got a bit behind with my swaps, but am now just about caught up. The May birthdays for Kate’s Birthday ATC swap have come and gone, but I used the long weekend to get my ATCs done.
I had some pieces of the Red Riding Hood fabric left from my purse project, so used them to make May’s ATCs. I embroidered a bit on top of the fabric adding French knots for the flowers, some green for the flower stems, filled in the wolf and Red’s outfit. I made a mistake on the left one by adding French knots for her eyes and she looks a little alien. I will pull those out before I mail them.
They are headed to Lithuania and Italy, so they won’t even make it before the end of the month. It IS the thought that counts, right?
MAD (Monthly Art Dolls) MAMMA really challenged us this month. We were to use a can to create an altered tin can doll. It is based on the work of this lady. It took me a long time to come up with the concept. I had my empty caffeine free Diet Pepsi can for a while waiting for the inspiration to hit me.
After smashing and crumbling the can, I sanded it so that the paint would adhere to it. I used acrylic paints to paint it and then used some purple inks for accenting. The face is created using Sculpey clay and a face mold. It sits in the bottom of the can. I cut off the other end so the doll would be more flat.
Her arms and legs are clothespin halves that were painted and inked. They are affixed with wire threaded through buttons on the top and the bottom. He legs are threaded using buttons on the back and then the wire is wrapped around at the top of the clothespin half. A bit of trim is used for her skirt.
She has a very serene look to her. I am having trouble naming her. Any suggestions?
The background is scrapbook paper that I inked and rubber stamped. The gypsy image is from the collage image group on flickr. The text is from a piece of advertising I received with a frequent buyer card.
The next two weeks’ challenge is white. Your card has to use the color white in all its shades. Should be interesting for me who prefers color. Lots and lots of color! I may wear a white blouse or jacket, but that is about it.
Wish me luck!
When I was a little child cars didn’t have seatbelts or maybe they were pulled under the seats as we never EVER used them. On long trips we would sleep on the back windowledge, on the floor or laying across the back seat. I remember, too, that the national speed limit was 70 mph on the highways and surprise we LIVED!
We drank sodas colored with red dye number (insert whichever one is now banned) and we LIVED! We ate raw cookie dough by the bowlful (raw eggs) and again we LIVED! When we laid out in the sun we slathered ourselves with baby oil and we LIVED!
It is amazing how many things we did when we were younger that are now considered either lethal, illegal or just plain not good and yet we LIVED! In some cases we flourished.
I guess life is all about seatbelts (limits) and living within them. Limits are there for a reason and in the great game of life there has to be limits. Life is all about odds and the odds are if you do certain things you will live a long and happy life.
So I will wear my seatbelts (they have saved me in two accidents), I will ease up on the raw cookie dough (can’t stop altogether), and I will not eat things that are bad for me (well not too much of them).
How about you?