My Mother and Father both had false teeth.  Mom lost hers to gum disease and my Dad to poor dental hygiene.  At night they both took them out and placed them in a bowl.  Mom’s on the edge of the kitchen sink and Dad in the cabinet near the other bowls.  The shelf that it was on was above my eye level and I was forever pulling them down and being showered with the Efferdent water.  He did this so that the cats wouldn’t get into them.  It never occurred to him to place them in a cabinet that didn’t house the bowls!

At night it was funny to hear them sleeping.  They both were champion snorers and since there were no teeth for the lips to flap against they would make a flapping sound, too.  If I had trouble sleeping I would listen to snore…puff…puff…puff… snore…puff…puff…puff…and on and on they went in a round. 

My Mom worked nights so she was not at her best in the daytime.  She had a particularly hard time with the class visits.  She would always come, but would have a hard time keeping awake.  Her other talent was for grabbing the wrong spray can for her various morning rituals.  Often she sprayed the deodorant in her hair and the hair spray on her armpits.  My Mom wore her hair in a bouffant and thus she needed a lot of hairspray.  Many are the times that she ended up at school with her hair powdered from the deodorant.  She was so out of it she didn’t notice it. 

I will never forget the time she visited and forgot her teeth.  She dozed off in my classroom and that familiar nightly chorus started, but this time it was a solo act…snore…puff…puff…puff… snore…puff…puff…puff…  I turned around and pleaded with my classmate in front of her to kick her hard and wake her up!  My classmates just sat there giggling at me and never let me live it down. 

I would beg Mom not to stay long or come at all, but she insisted that she attend.  How would it look if she didn’t show up?  What would the other Mothers and Teachers think of her?  So she came yearly and nodded off in the back of the room. I still don’t think I have lived it down!

The other habit my Dad had was taking his teeth out when he ate.  He would sit them on his hankie beside his plate at dinner.  It took us a while to get him to cover them over so we didn’t have to stare at them.  Thank goodness we never had to go searching through the garbage for them as I saw many parents do for their kid’s retainer. 

Would you think horribly of me if I told you that I would sometimes try them on the dog to see what they looked like?  (Man, is Dad going to haunt me tonight for that revelation!)  I was very careful with them and made sure the dog didn’t chew on them or bite down.  My brothers and I would laugh and laugh at the site. 

What embarrassing habit did your parents have?

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